Confessions

[Yoda]

A life I lived 20 years ago was the pinnacle of it. Being a soldier trained to play in hell. The closest I came to hell was when I was deployed to East Timor in 2001. The devastation and carnage caused not only to buildings and surrounding areas but also of the people torn apart from a conflict of greed. How innocence becomes evaporated and destroyed. There was an upside to this as it did enable different cultures to mingle and share experiences with one another. That of the brotherhood shared among the guys in my section and of those of the villagers we would frequent on patrols.

One thing I took with me was a intsta-matic type camera. It would go with me on every patrol. It paid off a few times. Indigenous people who had no clue with most of modern tech was amazed with what I offered them. Photos of entire families and villages were taken and given to the family and village elders. These were happier times during our deployment to the region.

It still haunts me to this day to learn of the horrors that were done to so many, such a friendly and compassionate people stripped of everything and struggling to survive and to rebuild their lives.

Many years later I learnt the truth of why we went there. It had nothing to do with the bullshit we were told, that being maintaining the peace and providing a presence of force and capture high profile targets. But what I learned was that Indonesia wanted to turn E. Timor into one of their provinces so that they could gain access to the rich oil and gas fields in the Timor sea. We were asked to help and our government didn't hesitate before asking, "what's in it for us". A slice of the pie what everybody wanted, the gas and oil. Only to have the deal be reneged.

This is what prompted my awakening. I finally saw the light and discharged from the Army on return to country. I'd seen enough, heard enough and experienced enough of all the bullshit that I was to ingest during my 14 years in the service. I don't regret it, but I also don't condone it.